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Dear [edit] Kenneth Cole [/edit],

When a customer buys a significantly priced item on your website two weeks before Christmas and selects (and pays more for) 2 day priority shipping, the customer usually expects the gift to arrive BEFORE Christmas (or at least, at the very worst, sometime during the 12 days of Christmas). And given that the customer called you on Christmas eve to ask about the location of said package (because you conveniently gave the customer an INVALID tracking number), and to which your “helpful” representatives (after patching the customer through to many departments many times and in a somewhat condescending tone, might I add) said that the package was just making its way through customs and that everything was fine, why has the package STILL NOT ARRIVED? And better yet, the customer had to call and speak to your representative (although this one was much more helpful than the last) who then had to request a reshipment of the gift because NOBODY KNOWS WHERE THE BLOODY FIRST PACKAGE IS. So now, the package has been RESHIPPED on January 6, a full 25 days after the first shipment, meaning that it will arrive (judging by the first shipment) at least a month AFTER Christmas.

To which I say, I hate you. I. HATE. YOU. Just you wait for my formal complaint.

Severely P’Oed,

Sheralyn

[Image of naughty ickle credited to Inhae]

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